a few things that i probably could live without but wouldn't really want to

• black eyeliner. it is essential to my sense of womanhood to be able to paint on some black crayon on my top eyelid(s). i don't wear any more make-up than that generally and no one ever notices my lovely eyeliner flourish but frankly, it's the only make-up i really 'know how' to apply. i'm looking at you, gobby mascara and clown cheek blush. eyeliner = love. other makeup?=tammy faye baker goes to the circus.
  
• pirates. because otherwise it would be difficult to say 'yarrr' in response to just about any question i am asked. it's difficult already - let's not make it impossible.
  
• stationery. i love sharp pencils and virgin notebooks and rulers and erasers and binders....and so on. i'm not ashamed that i was a big nerd in elementary school. and high school. and university. and...now. grand and toy is like my version of fredericks of hollywood. lucky tim canterbury, eh? oh yeah - you know what i'm saying...nudge nudge...um. not so much.
  
• knowing how to type. this is not a slam on a certain someone who doesn't know how and refuses to learn - i'm just SAYing for my own personal lifestyle, knowing how to type with all ten little pingies is a good thing. for me. i'm NOT judging.
  
• royal banks. i love that lion and all he represents. this is likely derivative of the fact that there was one bank in my hometown. one. and it was a royal...and actually, come to think of it, was next to the ice cream shop. so maybe my mom is going to rip off her mask at some point and start ringing a bell while my salivary glands activate without my permission. it's taken me all these years to realise it: my mother is in cahoots with RBC and the dairy marketing mafia - and saliva.
  
• knitting. i love knitting. i'm a late comer but it's like my best friend has been waiting for me for so long. hello, needles. hello, yarn. come to me with your lovely stickness and stringness, respectively. i know, sometimes i get mad at your stupid inability to just make. stitches. is. that. so. hard but it's just because i love you so much. you just make me so mad sometimes. come here...i brought you flowers - look...your favourite...
  
• six feet under. some would say obsessed, i say devoted. yes, i treat the characters like they are real people that i know. yes, i cry hysterically when something bad happens onscreen. and yes, i dream about them constantly. like i said: devoted. they are my clan. i have found my people. just a normal fan, that is I. Part-Time Ninja Fisher. that is my name.