i'm baaaa-aaaack

has anyone else ever seen the newlyweds episode where jessica simpson decides that it's blastephemous to say 'oh my god' and just starts saying 'oh my gaw'? well, at least i think that's why she does it. maybe her brain just started to find the whole syllable too long and complex to pronounce. in any case...i'm going to just use it throughout this posting as a way to emphasize some of the stranger points of our trip so far. and yes, i do know it's been waaay too long since i wrote. oh my gaw.

so going back to the beginning of time: first, there was quitting my job, then there was packing our house, then there was saying goodbye. sigh. those weren't not easy times but our going away party rocked the house. mmm....black forest cake and the smell of tim canterbury's expensive tequila (which, surprisingly, still smells like gasoline and makes me want to vomit. money, apparently, cannot buy everything. oh my gaw). thank you guys. the hardest part of the trip so far has been saying goodbye to you all. and carrying my suitcase.

then...on to huntsville. aaaah. huntsville. tim's parents' were thrilled - jumping for joy!! - with the amount of stuff we had that wanted nothing more than to spend many moons crammed willy-nilly into boxes in their basement. i guess christmas came early this year. bottles of wine were opened, poodle dogs were wrestled with and tofu was introduced as a foreign yet friendly substance. alas, tofu is not the happy family conversation starter i once believed it to be. stupid bean curd. gaw.

after that, we toured the worst hostel facilities ever. seriously - ever. highlights included racial epithets, drunken door smashing, incoherent babbling about butaine and its merits as a high-inducing nasally ingested substance and reattachment of said smashed doors with a carrot peeler - and that was just from the owner. i'm never one to miss a chance to go boho (some people call it a perfume shower, i just call it being one with nature and nature's stinky armpits) but the one shower in the entire place was a bit rough even for this kitten. oh my gaw but i was a stinky cat when i got out of there. and a cranky one. tim canterbury's face looked a lot like he was permanently getting whiffs of spoiled milk and no, it wasn't that he was standing downwind from me. just crabby. we did get to see some real crabs though at my favourite tourist attraction: the undersea gardens. also held bugs at the bug zoo. the millipede reminded me of the hostel owner in that i really didn't like either and touching them lovingly made me want to be sick.

now we are in the big ole party town of clearwater. i am enjoying eating many many skittles and also eatmores. my family actually calls cheetos 'vitamins' because they are orange. like vitamin c. also, they start with c. and both are good for you. please do not take my happiness away from me.

that is all for now. this may not be very funny as i am currently experiencing visual problems that may or may not be the result of the onset of type 2 diabetes. i am drunk on sugar. oh my gaw.